Dear Gluten, I hate you.

Yesterday, I got glutened so badly, I almost welcomed the thought of death. Ok, maybe that is extreme but my insides were turning against me. I somehow got cross contaminated and I am still not certain how. I was so sick off and on that it was terrible. Thankfully, I woke up much better today but I was so nervous that this glutening would be affecting me for days.

Here is to steering clear of gluten!

BuckWHEAT

I have been getting a few questions like this in my email...



Q. I just ate something that said GLUTEN FREE on the box and then when I looked at the ingredients it had BUCKWHEAT listed. Is buckwheat GF?

A. BUCKWHEAT is GLUTEN FREE! So eat it :) The wheat in the name is deceiving!

Remember, I have a Formspring link to the right, you can ask questions there and you can check there to see what I have answered :) And, you can be anonymous!

Chili's Gluten Free Menu....A Winner...Right?

I had heard that Chili’s had a gluten free menu from a few of the blogs I visit but I couldn’t remember if it was a good menu or not. Then I remembered reading about Stephanie’s glutening but I thought that it wouldn’t happen to me because, what would be the odds? Plus, I would not only tell the server about my intolerance but also I would go prepared with my handy-dandy cards!

Was I naive? Maybe, I was. Maybe it is because I have put too much faith in people or maybe it is because I expect that if you actually have a gluten free menu, it means that you know the meaning of what gluten free is and what cross contamination is. Is that too much to ask? Do I sound harsh? Well, keep reading. I am more than just a little upset, this ladies and gentlemen is by far the worst culinary (if you can call Chili’s culinary) experience I have ever had.

My boyfriend and I were meeting his sister, her husband and their adorable daughter for dinner. I mistakenly suggest Chili’s for dinner because of the gluten free menu. Jared and I get there first, we sit down and we talk the game plan. The game plan includes how I am going to order. I always think this through because I get nervous and never want to leave anything out. Jared orders for me often because it makes me uneasy and he has great attention for detail, but I ordered for myself last night. His family arrived, they decided on their order and the waitress came. She was not very pleasant but I was nice to her.

When it was my turn to order I chose: A hamburger. No bun, with cheese and the garnish. No French fries. Instead of the fries can I please have a side salad? She nodded. I continued: No Croutons. No dressing of any kind. Instead I would like lemon wedges. I have Celiac Disease meaning I cannot have any gluten or wheat because it will make me very sick. It is all on this card. Can you please give it to your cook and their staff?

She took the card and gave me a look. I didn’t care though. I have no clue if she gave it to the cook or not. When she returned with my order, she brought me my burger with a side of ranch on the plate. The ranch was in a separate container so I didn’t freak out but I was still annoyed. Ranch was not on the gluten free menu and I didn’t order it. She wasn’t listening to my needs. I told her again “I am highly allergic to gluten and I don’t want to take a chance, could you please take the dressing back.” I know that celiac is an autoimmune disorder but I didn’t feel like explaining it to her, she wasn’t getting it. I figured the word allergy would work better with this chick. Then she really crossed the line, she replied with, “Yeah, I would be PARANOID too.” I didn’t want to make a scene. I was at dinner with my boyfriend and his lovely family and I was on the verge of tears. It had been such an amazing week for the gluten free community with the release of the G-Free Diet and all of the promotion surrounding it and also with the launch of the Starbucks gluten free dessert. I wasn’t going to let this girl get me down. I wasn’t being paranoid, I was protecting my intestines.

Dinner was awful. My salad tasted old. I couldn’t even finish it and my burger kind of sucked. I started not feeling well during my dinner. My boyfriend said it was the worst steak he ever had. My boyfriend's sister didn't really like her dinner either. I left still hungry since I didn’t finish my meal so my boyfriend took me to In & Out for some french fries. I had a bad feeling about the food I had eaten at Chili’s so I took some Pepto while we were still there, especially since I wasn’t feeling well. I know that Pepto isn’t cure at all, but maybe it helps a little? Hey, kept me from having the craps! So, I would like to think that maybe it lessens it a bit…right?

We were going to this arcade called Golfland to play games and by the time we got there I had this massive headache. After ten minutes I threw up in the restroom. I threw up a total of four times while we were there, but I didn’t want to leave and let stupid Chili’s get in my way. I was in so much pain that it hurt to walk and I felt really bloated. On the way back to my boyfriend’s we stopped at the store and picked up some things so I would feel better.

I can honestly say that Chili’s was the worst restaurant experience I have ever had. It wasn’t the worst glutening of my life but it was by far the worst customer service and pretty awful food. I do not like being insulted by people when I am trying to have a good time. I am saddened by the lack of humanity that waitress showed for me, it is hard enough trying to eat out. I know that there are more and more options for gluten free people showing up all the time but when restaurants like Chili’s has gluten free menus, I expect their staff not to insult patrons and not to cross contaminate them. I am really disheartened by Chili’s. I normally try to not give bad reviews but Chili’s you gave me really crappy service and maybe you should give your servers a bit of sensitivity training.

That deserves a smack on the lips!

I am always reaching for chap stick. I have heard that some of them may have wheat in them but I have never looked at the packaging because all of the kind I have purchased since my diagnosis have been safe, however, I have an abundance of LIP SMACKER chap stick. I use that the most because it tastes great and keeps my lips soft or so I thought. The part right by the inside of my mouth were always hurting and it always slightly chapped no matter how much I used. I was at the supermarket with my boyfriend buying some waterproof eyeliner & mascara for my best friends wedding and I grabbed a three pack of lip smackers and went to the check out. Once we were back at his house, I looked at the ingredients for the heck of it and it listed wheat! WHY? WHY!!!!WHY?

I LOVE this product and now I can not use it. It makes sense as to why my lips hurt a lot though. So, I threw out all of the lip smackers I had and I gave my brand new three pack to my Mom!

*FOR AN UPDATE AS OF 2010, click HERE!

Mission:The Phoenix Zoo: Gluten Free

Today my son and I went to the Phoenix Zoo with my longtime friend Alica and her sons! I knew this outing would be fun but that mealtimes/snacks would be tricky due to my obvious gluten intolerance. So, my mission was to have a great time at the zoo with out getting sick! Would it be a mission impossible?

Lunch:

The food areas sent small shrieks of panic with in me! Not many options. The very safe but boring option was yogurt and applesauce. Pass! No way, I eat that daily. That was my last resort food. I saw french fries on the menu. OK, let the questions begin! I asked the dude, and I say dude because the lad was young and he seemed very uninformed if the fries were fried in a dedicated fryer. He quickly said yes but I asked him to make sure by asking a manager. SCORE! He came back with a confirmation of yes! So, I ordered fries. Next question: Were the nachos on the menu 100% corn tortilla chips and were processed in a plant that were free from cross contamination?

Dude looked at me and said that he knew that they were 100% corn chips and that they were not cross contaminated. I think he was humoring me. I asked to look at them. They were the multicolored corn chips. I thought they looked OK, so I told him to put them on the tab. I ordered my son a gluten filled lunch and off we went to find a seat.

So this was my lunch:
These were the items that came with my Jacob's lunch that a someone may think is OK to eat but would get them sick if they didn't know too much about celiac disease:
Hunt's Ketchup is not Gluten Free! GFSteph has a great post about why. Click here to find out why! Heinz is gluten free though. So, I ate my fries with out ketchup. I was happy to be able to eat fries out though! It was a treat at the moment. And one would assume that a RICE crispy treat is gluten free but it is not, it is wheat free, but not gluten free.

So, during lunch Jacob kept trying to touch my nachos. I would tell him not to and explain why to him. I know that he doesn't understand cross-contamination at two but I want him to be accustomed to this from an early age. His hands were covered in chicken nuggets and ketchup. He would touch an area and then I would take that area of my chips and throw it away in hopes that it would make it safe to eat the rest of my food.

Later On:

I was wearing shorts and I noticed bumps all over my upper legs. I also had a slight head ache but I didn't mention that part to my friend ( I didn't want to be a drag). I tried to take a picture of the bumps for the blog but it didn't photograph well. I have no clue if the dude from the food stand was mistaken about the food or if Jacob accidentally cross contaminated me. Next time, I will stick to the boring yogurt and I will pack some food.

Zoo Snacks:

I saw kettle corn. I have no clue if it was safe because I didn't ask. I am assuming it was but I didn't eat it. The one thing I did eat was:
Lugi's Real Italian Ice! Jacob had some too!

It was a great trip. Glutening and all. I will have to wait and see if the symptoms get any more severe but the experience was still amazing!

For more pics from the zoo, check out the Endless Possibilities Blog!

Master Cleanse DAY ONE

Well, I started it last night by drinking the tea and I was still sick from the residual glutening. I expected to be running to the bathroom every two minutes but it wasn't like that. I did go to the bathroom but it wasn't horrible. I think that that could be because I was really sick yesterday and in the bathroom yesterday a whole bunch.

I did pee a ton today. It reminded me of being pregnant. There were times that I was peeing every 15 minutes from the amounts of fluids I was consuming from trying to keep myself from getting hungry.

Oh and that lemon/pepper/syrup mix tastes awful...and I have to down it at least 6 times a day :(

If every day is like day one then I can keep this up for ten days but I am hungry. I do want food. It is hard because I am preparing meals for my son and they smell good.

I am waiting for the energy that those websites promised to kick in...

Let me stress how much this sucks... (this post has way too much information!)

OK, so I tried to nap with my son during his nap and it just didn't happen. I kept making trips to the bathroom to puke or crap. Then I would lay down in between rounds & my body kept thinking I was dying a slow death and I had the hot and colds. I knew that I needed to walk to the store ( I cant drive right now because of medical reasons...) to get some of the stuff for the fast and also some stuff for Jacob. So, I waited until I thought I was in the clear. I kept drinking water to keep myself hydrated and off we went.

I made it there only stopping to puke twice. Man, this was bad.

We got to the store and the food was making me want to die. Jacob kept asking for everything! I fed him snacks on the way so I told him no. I purchased my items and some Powerade in case I needed electrolytes.

I drank some and then I decided that I felt better. The store was right next to a Petsmart so I thought I would take Jacob in and show him animals. We were there for a bit and I had no issues. Then we were leaving and it hit me again. I hit the rest room and got sick again.

The walk home was awful. I was practically running. I cant wait to start this detox in the morning and rid myself of any toxins. I feel so sick.

I am afraid to eat dinner. I don't know how food will affect me tonight. Well, I have to eat, so I will make bland gluten free noodles and pray that I am fine.

So sick of it.

Two glutenings in two different days...


The first one happened three days ago. It happened by accident. I was making my usual egg breakfast and I was distracted. I grabbed my cooking spray and sprayed away. I was taking my my adorable two year old as I was cooking. Then I ate my breakfast and 45 minutes later I was really sick and I wouldn't figure out why. Then I came to the conclusion that I used the cooking spray that I use when I make my non gluten free baking items...the cooking spray with FLOUR in it! Now, that spray has been moved to the shelf with my baking goods.

Then yesterday at lunch with my boyfriend I was glutened by salad dressing. It was the first time I was glutened in front of him. My whole body got itchy, my tongue got red and my stomach got a terrible stomach ache. Luckily, I didn't get an anal explosion or vomiting episode. That would have been mortifying. But, now every time I eat I have a terrible stomach ache.

I hung out with my friend Ashley today and I couldn't enjoy my food at all. It was terrible. I just had a reaction to it as thought I was poisoned by wheat because I feel like I am totally contaminated now. I may as well go on a binge and eat a donut or something...OK, I know that would make it even worse.

So, I am going to take drastic measures and I don't care what anyone says. I tough long and hard about it. I cant take the pain I was in last night after dinner or this morning or right now. In the morning, I am going to start a 10 day MASTER CLEANSE!

So, every day on this blog and maybe even the Endless Possibilities blog I will write about it. I am sure I will be cranky. I read about it on this one blog I follow and it seemed extreme but I need to rid my body of toxins and any gluten I have lurking in me. I really do.

I am sick of feeling sick from this. So, if this sounds extreme, it is. If I am cranky, I am sorry. This is just what I have to do in order to feel better and function. You didn't just spend a long time in the bathroom with me! I know...too much info...to bad!

Wheat is evil and I think the Master Cleanse is poison to it! So, I will write about it all...the good, the bad and the ugly...

WTF? WHEAT IN LOTION?

I know that the sellers of the Seacret products in Arizona are super pushy. They do not take NO for an answer. I was forced into buying this a few years ago when Jacob was maybe five months old and having a major meltdown/ crying fit. The lotion came with a nail kit they were pushing and I just bought the kit to get out of there and they brought the price down from $75 to $20.

I know, where were my hypothetical balls? I had none! My son was having a tantrum, these people didn't care that I was a new mother! They just wanted a sale and they had my hand in their possession and they kept rubbing oil on my cuticle.

So, this brings me to yesterday...

I had just gotten out of the shower and I was in a rush to get ready. My standard lotion had run out and I saw the unused and untouched Seacret lotion bottle sitting on my shelf. I opened the bottle and smelled it. It smelled like cucumber mellon and I decided to rub it all over me! It smelled like heaven. I got dressed and then I started to itch.

WTF?

WAS IT OLD? I have used older lotion than that. Lotions are like Twinkies ( well, when Twinkies were on the approved food list) they don't have expiration dates...

The itching got worse.

I grabbed the bottle.
It looked like that but said Cucumber Mellon on it. Upon further inspection I found out that there was wheat in the ingredients.

Remember, it was Christmas, I guess Santa did not like me this year :(

An Amazing Lunch With My Boyfriend's Family, Contaminated At My Own Hanukkah and Really Good Cocoa Mix!

Yesterday my boyfriend and I went over to his families house for lunch. Luckily, Karmen, Jared's sister reads this and my other blogs so she is familiar with gluten free living. The night prior to us going over, I was babysitting my friends son and Jared told me that they were making us enchiladas! I panicked over the sauce! Then he quickly said that Karmen the looked at the ingredients and she saw that there was wheat in that so she found another thing to make.

I cant tell you how touched I am that the whole family worked so hard to make me a meal that I could enjoy too. They hand made me tacos and taquitos . They read everything that they put into it and they made sure not to cross contaminate me. I had a wonderful time!
Review of lunch:

* * * * * * * * * * ** ** ** **

Last night started Hanukkah. It was my first gluten free Hanukkah and my mom told me she would make everything gluten free so I wouldn't have to worry. So, while I was gone, she was cooking. We sat down to eat and she served this rice with chicken and carrot meal, this lentil and turkey bacon dish and a Middle Eastern salad. I bit into the rice and I knew something didn't taste right, sometimes I can just tell. Am I the only one who can just tell? Like sometimes I blindly eat something and get sick but sometimes I can just tell.

So, I ask her if she put chicken broth in the rice and she said yes. I knew...most broth...MSG {I know MSG is a hot topic amongst us! I get a rash:( } I got a rash and my tongue got itchy.

She didn't read the ingredients. She knows that she needs to read everything. She told me that she didn't think she needed to read it! URRG! I hate getting sick! Even if it is a rash. So, it wasn't horrible but still uncomfortable.

The rest of the dinner was good. Review of just being contaminated:

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

As I type, I am sipping this amazing Hot Cocoa that Jared's family made me. Karmen got the recipe from a magazine (I forgot the name, so I cant give credit to where it is due). It is really yummy and gluten free! I love cocoa!

HOT COCOA MIX

Ingredients:
1 1/2 c. unsweetened cocoa

1 1/4 c. sugar
6 oz semi -sweet chocolate chip cookies
1/4 tsp. salt


Directions:
Mix 3 tablespoons cocoa mis with 1 cup milk in microwave safe mug. Microwave on high for 1 1/2 min -2 min or until blended and HOT, stirring once. * Add whipped cream on top if desired.

GLUTENED { contains Too Much Information and profanity)

(Posted on the Endless Possibilities Blog on 11/11/08)

After our walk and the music store, Kelly and I went to Whole Foods. I have been craving éclairs for months. I need to have one. Stephanie sent me a recipe for gluten free éclairs but they just seem like too much work...she even thought so.

I found an easy recipe for this thing that promises to taste like an éclair that is half of the work. You just can’t pick it up and eat it like and éclair. I am not sure what it looks like because it doesn't provide a picture. I am going to make it soon and I will review it...with a picture.

So, Kelly and I went to Whole Foods so I could get some of the things I needed to make it and also to see if I could get a gluten free pastry from their bakery. I have been dying for a pasty.

The only time I really hate having celiacs is when I pass by the baker’s case and know that everything is off limits, at Whole Foods they were bound to have something I could have...hopefully. We get there and ask.

The BAKERY BITCH (she earned the name because I feel lied to and deceived, my intestines hate her), pointed out the gluten free items. She then points to these amazing looking things covered in chocolate with this mouse inside. It says wheat free on the label. I point that out. She said something like it was gluten free and I would be fine.

BAKERY BITCH was so convincing. BAKERY BITCH swears it won’t get me sick. BAKERY BITCH gives me a description of this pastry, that for someone that has not had a proper baked goods in a long time could almost have a big O ( and by big O...I am not referring to Oprah) from listening to them. Oprah surely would have had a big O and she doesn’t have celiacs.

Yet again BAKERY BITCH says they are WHEAT FREE but with NOTHING IN THEM that would make anyone GLUTEN INTOLERANT sick. I purchase the baked good.

I eat the baked good. I praise BAKERY BITCH in my head, but for that short moment she was not BAKERY BITCH but BAKERY GODDESS. She had given me the satisfaction that I had been seeking for months. A really good pastry; I had great tasting cakes on my birthday but I craved a yummy pastry! I had now had it!

Well, it was short lived. I felt the all too familiar rumble in my stomach. I felt the hot and colds. I felt the impending doom. Jacob was up. My mom was not home. I felt sick and I knew it was BAKERY BITCH'S fault. I was trying to avoid getting sick.

Poor Jacob must have hated me. He had to be in the bathroom with me. As my insides ruptured in the bathroom I think I casted a plague on BAKERY BITCH'S house and her first born.

There were times where I thought the glutening was over and then it came back. My mom ended up going to the gym last night. I had to make Jacob dinner and put him to bed while dealing with one of the most violent glutenings of my life.

I got this horrible headache. It was so bad that I had to ask for an extension on my homework and I don’t even know if I got it. I couldn’t look at the computer. I was in bed early. I woke up through the night...GLUTENED.

This lasted for hours. I never had a glutening last so long.

I should have known better. I should have gone for the specific gluten free sign. BAKERY BITCH was too convincing.